A PARTIAL LIST OF CONTRIBUTORS

ANTONIO CROWLEY is the managing editor of Tartar Magazine, and has travelled with you in your morning elevator ride since 1993. He is working on his debut novel and asking you about what bands you're into right now.

BILLY GULOKOTA is the President of TCI Corp International and your imaginary friend between the ages of six and eleven.

CAITLIN HUERTIS is a freelance editor and writer. She looked at you that one time, and it made you drop your sandwich, which you were really looking forward to, but it was worth it.

CARL CUDDLES is an experimental theatre troupe from Ontario, Canada, whose whimsical yet thought provoking stage interpretations of important historical assassinations has garnered many positive local reviews. Also the name of your first pet, an Angora rabbit, who one day escaped and ran all the way to the bottom of Smith Street before anyone noticed.

NIC LUSK is a convicted arsonist, and your first kiss.

KARI SCHERRER has worked as a clinical researcher at Central East University since graduating in 2002. He has written extensively in his field of quantum dynamics, and lived with you for two months in 1999, where he said he didn't pee in the kitchen sink, but you could totally smell it.

MINGO SLUTTER was a 17th-Century Danish explorer credited with introducing radishes to Baltic Europe, as well as a fake porn name you made up for yourself, when you were really supposed to use the name of your first pet combined with the name of the first street you lived on, but Carl Smith didn't really have the same ring to it. Just about no one believed you lived on Slutter Street.

GABRIEL WINSTON was the only person you could convince that you once lived on Slutter Street.

MINNIE XIAO-WEI is the undefeated World under-35s Speed Dominoes Champion and the person who told you Santa wasn't real.

EMMETT ZAMORA is a twice-divorced, clinically depressed former army chaplain now living on the streets. And he once gave you a hug, right when you really needed it.