REASONS I REFUSE TO DOUCHE

Somewhere, a cat is crowning. 76 000 readers turn the same page of a newspaper. These are simply the facts that permeate this oh so strange world. At four pm, someone will become a professor. At the same time, an associate professor will arrange some photos in an album, removing all those pictures of that holiday where The Great Sadness fell upon him. Later today, a timpani will be made. One ant will make his decision to kill the Queen. A young woman, who has just come off her lunch break at a hardware store will suddenly consider the phrase "hatchet job". You will have to take that left-hand turn. I will refuse to douche.