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Monday, December 14, 2009

THE EXTRAORDINARY GIFT OF ABUNDANCE. OR SOMETHING.

I have been incredibly slack updating this old blog, but needless to say, plenty of novel re-writing and Christmas-madness-at-the-bookshop is going on.


But. I couldn't not share this piece of writing with you. It comes from an upcoming Self-Help release called Consciousness is the New Currency, written by husband-and-wife team, and co-conspirators in something called "The Journey : A new paradigm for manifesting conscious abundance, lasting fulfilment and a sustainable future", Brandon Bays and Kevin Billett. The following blurb for their book is some of the finest mumbo-jumbo I've ever read:


"In this groundbreaking, inspiring and interactive book, Brandon Bays and Kevin Billett take you on a powerful journey which will explode the limiting paradigms that have kept you from experiencing unbridled fulfilment in your life. Step by step, the practical, effective process work will clear the fear-consciousness, emotional blocks and deeply-held negative beliefs that have compromised your ability to manifest healthy abundance.


The unique and liberating teachings open you directly into your own boundless potential, effortlessly guiding you to manifest limitless abundance in your career, health, relationships, creativity - financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually - on all levels of being.

This work will radically liberate you. It will give you conscious, skilful tools to manifest wholesome abundance in your own life and the means to be part of the wave of awakening and transformation our world needs.


This is your invitation to say 'yes' to your own greatness - to a new form of abundance-consciousness, one that is as fulfilling personally as it is integrative globally."


WHAAAAAAAAAAAA?




As I don't understand one word of what this book is about, maybe I should sign up for a "Journey Intensive Weekend" (ONLY $795!!!) in order to live my life as a joyous expression of the true radiance that I always knew was deep inside.


Now I don't want to belittle something that a lot of people might get a lot out of (and making fun of Self-Help books is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel), but really, could that blurb hedge its

bets any more than it did? Why not just say: "This book will change all the things you want changed in you and your life. Or maybe not. But maybe, right?" And what's with the "sustainable future" bit of the subtitle? Trend-jump much?


P.S. For something a little more tailored to my needs, maybe I should sign up to JourneyMan, an extensive course taken by someone called Phill. Yes, that's with two Ls.


P.P.S. But seriously, my cynical, closed-off mind was changed when I saw this comprehensive graph:



Boy have I got egg on my face! Sorry Brandon. Sorry Kevin. Sorry Phill.

7 comments:

Krissy Kneen said...

Thank you furious horse. This post alone has made me feel better about myself. I know now I don't friggin want wellness or to achieve my ultimate greatness quotient. After reading that I am just happy being completely crap which is fine by me. Should I just deposit $795 into your bank account now?

Phillipa said...

there's an abundance of abundances in that blurb - all of them limitless, healthy, wholesome and yes, abundant.

Phillipa said...

Unbridled fulfillment sounds good, but 'manifest healthy abundance' and then manifesting 'limitless abundance' and more manifesting wholesome abundance' in a 'new form of abundance conciousness' I reckon could be really exhausting

Leesa said...

You know, I never understand the term 'like shooting fish in a barrel'. I think it would be hard? Firstly, there is the whole light refracting thing. Secondly, fish are pretty zippy creatures who have narrow backs, or tops?. And finally, I don't think I've ever seen fish in a barrel. So unless the barrel is full of dead fish then I don't get it. But if it is full of dead fish, why would you ever want to shoot them? Then your fish would just be lead filled dead fish. I wonder if anyone has actually tried to shoot fish in a barrel.

Something to think about Furious Horse.

A. S. Patric said...

I work in a bookstore as well, and I find myself reading blurbs thats ask me if my dog is psychic and I have customers occasionally asking for a book that will help them clean their auras. There's really not a lot to laugh about when you see the people that search these books out, as pathetic as the secret desperation is in their eyes. Also in this corner of the store, are books that help people negotiate depression and anxiety, abusive relationships, or dealing with toxic parents. So there are moments for me, when I pause and look at all these books that promise us methods to deal with pain, that I wish I had more compassion. Because most of the time I'm like you and it all looks like a joke.

Balesia said...

I've often wondered if anyone really has the credibility to write a self-help, how-to-take-control-of-your-life, how-to-be-succesful book. We're not all as established as Rick Astley.

Liv said...

hey, are they doing a book tour? I'll take along a bulls**t bingo card.

I actually feel better about my life simply because I'm not them.