Patient presents with symptoms in early July. Is recommended to me by Dr Phylis Hautmann, at the Kretz Institute. Dr Hautmann also present for initial consultation. Patient, Angela N____, arrives for appointment early.
Briefed by Dr Hautmann before Angela N is ushered in to see me. Dr Hautmann explains the situation. Or, to be more accurate, the situation comedy. SITCOMS, I write in the little notepad I keep by my desk. The word seems like an acronym for almost anything.
Ask Dr Hautmann to repeat herself.
She replies. Half-hour sitcoms.
Angela N enters office, just as Dr Hautmann leaves. Angela seems somewhat distressed.
Angela N says: I thought I was being referred to you.
Reply: You are, but Dr Haufmann was giving me some background information.
Patient sits down, sighs.
I probe as to the origins of her condition. Angela N tells me everybody loves Raymond. I infer Raymond a past lover. Theories begin forming. Transference issues. Everyone loves Raymond except her. Then she says: According to Jim— and I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. Is this Jim a friend she confides in?
I just continue to nod.
Patient: Married with children.
Infer: Messy divorce.
Patient: All in the family.
Infer: Repressed abuse. Father?
Patient: Three’s company.
Infer: Father and Uncle?
Patient: Empty Nest.
Patient: I love Lucy.
Infer: Confused sexuality.
Patient: Charles in Charge.
Infer: Unnatural dependence on new male figure.
Patient: Bless this house.
Infer: Religion as emotional crutch.
Patient continues to express a list of psychological problems far too complex for even me. Tell patient to wait outside.
Phone Dr Willis at the Institute. Explain case history, symptoms.
Dr Willis says: Happy Days!
Different strokes, I infer, for different folks.