Friday, March 14, 2008


Patient presents with symptoms in early July. Is recommended to me by Dr Phylis Hautmann, at the Kretz Institute. Dr Hautmann also present for initial consultation. Patient, Angela N____, arrives for appointment early.

Briefed by Dr Hautmann before Angela N is ushered in to see me. Dr Hautmann explains the situation. Or, to be more accurate, the situation comedy. SITCOMS, I write in the little notepad I keep by my desk. The word seems like an acronym for almost anything.

Ask Dr Hautmann to repeat herself.

She replies. Half-hour sitcoms.

Angela N enters office, just as Dr Hautmann leaves. Angela seems somewhat distressed.

Angela N says: I thought I was being referred to you.

Reply: You are, but Dr Haufmann was giving me some background information.

Patient sits down, sighs.

I probe as to the origins of her condition. Angela N tells me everybody loves Raymond. I infer Raymond a past lover. Theories begin forming. Transference issues. Everyone loves Raymond except her. Then she says: According to Jim— and I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. Is this Jim a friend she confides in?

I just continue to nod.

Patient: Married with children.

Infer: Messy divorce.

Patient: All in the family.

Infer: Repressed abuse. Father?

Patient: Three’s company.

Infer: Father and Uncle?

Patient: Empty Nest.

Infer: Abandonment.

Patient: I love Lucy.

Infer: Confused sexuality.

Patient: Charles in Charge.

Infer: Unnatural dependence on new male figure.

Patient: Bless this house.

Infer: Religion as emotional crutch.

Patient continues to express a list of psychological problems far too complex for even me. Tell patient to wait outside.

Phone Dr Willis at the Institute. Explain case history, symptoms.

Dr Willis says: Happy Days!

Different strokes, I infer, for different folks.

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