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Saturday, March 22, 2008

THE VERY WORST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE

In which computers turn against you.

In which the cursor still skews sideways, even though you’ve pressed command-I again to get out of italics, so the cursor should really be looking normal, blinking in a nice straight vertical line, but clearly it’s not.

In which your font always turns to Palatino, thanks to a default setting two computers ago, when you try to tidy up the end of your word document by getting rid of that final, redundant return space.

In which the only part of your desktop picture, carefully picked, is that thin slice that appears to the right of iTunes.

In which American spelling is all that is accepted, even when you go into Dictionary Preferences and change it to English (Aus) for the fiftieth time.

In which you can constantly smell something burning every time you open your laptop screen.

In which you’re pretty sure you’re getting an electric shock through your wrist.

In which you do actually send an error report to Apple.

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